The Climb

WARNING: Sap Fest, if your going to gag or laugh don't bother reading.

So we (Andrew and I) are at our 5 month mark, give or take a week, and He is doing absolutely amazing. I couldn't be more proud of him, I did well the first 4 months, but this last month has seemed to drag on and I find myself having a pretty hard time with the waiting process in general. I love getting mail like you wouldn't believe, actually any one reading this would believe it, but I miss seeing him and being close to him. While I've never once questioned my decision to wait for him, I have found myself become more and more lonely, feeling things I was sure I never would before he left. Thats when I realized the first part of this experience I was able to purely wait with my heart. The feelings of closeness, and the physical connection was still raw in my memories, now, as time goes on, I find its becoming a lot more neccessary for me to wait with my head. I am consciously making the decision (as well as willingly) to wait for my best friend, the man I love to get home so we can have forever. Yes I have that weekly reminder of the closeness and love we share, but the rest of the week is up to me. I can no longer wait with just my heart, my head has to take control and I have to constantly remind myself that I can't (WONT) give up what I want most for what's conviently here now.
I thought I was prepared for to wait for him, I realize now, its not something I could ever truly prepare myself to be with out the person that makes me strive to be better... I guess I understand the "better half" comparison... Luckily when I do start to feel alone my Father in Heaven is there to comfort me. I truly believe the closer I become to God, the more I fall in love with Andrew. Andrew and I always loved the Triangle Analogy (if you havent heard it ask me to explain... I don't feel like it right now ha) and now we get the opportunity to truly live it. I don't want the end of Andrew's mission to come, to realize I didn't live the best way possible... I don't want regrets. I want to be grateful for the trials, for the tears, for the smiles, and for the experiences we have both had. Then I want to spend forever telling each other about them.

Sorry this was horribly written, I am a spazz and couldn't figure out what I was thinking.